Don’t worry this isn’t some Beatles rip off. I am taking a new spin on my relationships post. I recently have begun a relationship with a fantastic guy and I thought it would be a great idea now to update it. I talked to him about this idea and his input was dating sites are not the best way to meet people and he’s sorta right. We met on a dating website and haven’t stopped talking since. But he’s mostly right because you don’t know who is on the other side of the net. Thinking back to my internet safety post I have to say DO NOT GIVE OUT ANY PERSONAL INFO to ANYONE YOU DON’T KNOW. Sorry if it seems like I am shouting that, but I cannot stress it enough. My new boyfriend and I are still getting to know each other and on the site, my profile was open yet guarded to a certain degree. I knew what not to say and what to say to attract the attention I wanted. In a way, it’s a bit like my project I am creating a social forum in which I will be strict about what you post online. Sure there will be freedom of speech but it will be monitored to keep everyone on the site safe.
But saying that I do want people to forge connections safely. I could have chosen any nickname I wanted for the site instead I was open and used my name. But on the social site, I am creating there will be a sense of protection (Usernames which don’t include their name) But I will be recording their real names for data protection reasons.
Ok. I am getting side tracked this post is all about relationships and love – but it’s more than the superficial love it is more to do with the bonds you forge with someone.
I know it’s not easy to forge these relationships as we have problems with social communication, but these difficulties do not mean we are incapable of having relationships with people. I know it takes me a little longer to come around to someone but when I do, I really put my heart and soul into any sort of relationship I have may it be friendship or relationship.
I am a hopeless romantic and a terrible flirt and I am terrible at reading signals. That’s why I am glad this relationship has started long distance because it gives me a chance to get to know him find out more about him. I can’t wait till the day I meet him, It’ll be my Cinderella Moment. I know it’s silly to still believe in fairytales but when you have been ready to give up on love for so long because you know your communication issues make it difficult. Sometimes a fairytale is just what you need.
How you meet someone is just as important as the initial meet. If you meet face to face it is going to be awkward because a) those on the spectrum are not used to social situations which are thrust upon us. Give us time to adjust to you being around us. Understand our boundaries. THAT IS AN IMPORTANT ONE! I mean it. By no means think that you can change their mind if they are uncomfortable back off being pushy will do you no favors. If you meet online be yourself without revealing any personal details like where you live or your numbers. I only say this to keep you safe. For my online dating site, I chose a general location near to where I live but not my exact location so that I was kept safe. However, you meet, ensure you are safe and happy if at any time you feel uncomfortable I would excuse yourself and go to a “SAFE” area and contact your emergency contact, never let yourself remain in a situation in which you feel at risk. It has happened me to me too many times before I know the risks of people and ulterior motives
What would your advice be when entering a new relationship?