I was daydreaming whilst doing my chores today and this song popped into my head. It made me think about autism and friendship, now I know I covered it in my relationship series, Friends Till The End
There has been speculation that people on the spectrum are incapable of making friends. Now as an adult with Autism I resent the speculation, for one although I have few close friends, I am certainly capable of making them given the right circumstances. I certainly don’t like being used. Which unfortunately has happened to me a lot in the past.
But I am here to say we can be friends. There are ways people on the spectrum can make friends.
OK first we need to understand that space is ok, we don’t need to cling to our friends like they are the very life source of our being. It is perfectly fine if you do not want to be sociable all the time.
The number of friends we have doesn’t matter. It’s loyalty that counts. Loyalty and understanding. The friends I have I can count on my one hand. K, C, N,S, L Five people who I count as friends, 2 I work with and have become really close to me since I started. The other three have been my friends for years I gave their initials rather than their names in the spirit of anonymity. We all understand that like every fingerprint we are all individual and every individual we have our own strengths and weaknesses. Me for example, my strength lies in analytics There is nothing I love more than getting down to the nitty-gritty detail of things, I think that is why I love blogging so much because I get to do research. Ok, I maybe am Velma Dinkley after all.
We can make friends by talking about our interests and hobbies, but it can be hard to maintain them. But it is not impossible. A friendship is a relationship so like anything it takes work. When things get hard your friends may want to run away. Say that you need a bit of time to relax and gather yourself. If they are a true friend and not just using you when it is convenient for them, they will appreciate the honesty and will help you in whatever way you need.
My tip is know your stressors. Mine are about the environments in which I am placed. Even when I was younger I used to have playdates, though it was mostly with my cousins.
I do have a horror story about friendships. I was about 7 or 8. I was invited to a classmates birthday party. Much to my delight and my parents’ but alas the fairytale has a sting in its tail. During our trip to the cinema before moving to our next location, I needed to use the toilet so I told the appropriate adult and went to use it. By the time I came out, everyone had disappeared much to my dismay. Unashamedly I was distraught. 8 years old and left in the cinema, and through my distress I somehow managed to get my head and luckily I knew my house number I got an attending to phone home and tell my parents what had happened now they knew the plan of the day and came to get me, and take me on to the next event. It can be easy done when managing a lot of children. So my advice is to have an ICE Incase of Emergency card with your child’s name, condition and your name and contact details. They are useful when kids are out and about.
BBC as much as I am not a fan of some of their programs. The news channel’s website put this video up yesterday
Teen with Asperger’s Syndrome: How I cope with bullies
Little Ryan Wiggins is amazing. Watch the video http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-34925922 and see how much this young lad is mature beyond his years
Ok, I am harping on a bit. Onto my next post xx