Well hello again and welcome back to my third installment of Autism and relationships over the last three days we have been talking about the various relationship areas and the difficulties someone with autism has in them Today is a day for all you parents I am going to quash the fear of birthday parties and social events. Well thats the plan anyway.
Firstly I want to start off by saying, I am an autistic adult in my early 20’s and I can count the number of true friends I have on one hand. So don’t worry if your child is not surrounded, because being in a large group can sometimes be a bad thing. Large groups aren’t usually the true friends.
Growing up, I struggled in school social situations. I felt outcast by my peers and I hated hated the thought of birthdays. Ok here’s a good example which just came to mind. My friend was turning 16 and she was having a pamper / Chinese dinner evening. When we were picking out our order at first I was not allowed what I wanted to eat because it was too hard for the birthday girl to say. After a long hard task of saying that its my meal I know its your birthday but you want us to order the food we will eat I got my meal but during the back and forth, she was close to telling me not to come. Now being on the spectrum, being told that in the circles that you travel, you will be the only one left out of a birthday party is really upsetting.
Being autistic does not mean we cannot make friends, it just means, we find it hard to maintain the relationships we are a part of.
https://iancommunity.org/cs/simons_simplex_community/autism_in_teens is one of my favorite resources for this post. It talks about how difficult it is to grow up as a teen with autism. Although the main heading I am looking at is Finding a place in the social world.
As we all are aware teens today suffer from social isolation. But more than that, Teens with autism are less likely to engage in any social activity. Now get the tissues ready ladies and gents because this statistic is really sad, More than 54% of ASD Teens have friends who never call. and I can really relate to that as I would consistently put myself out there in the hopes of making friends only for them to ignore my attempts or abuse my good nature. But although I had these knock backs it helped develop my personality. My parents were able to see my introvert personality and help me become the woman you see on your screens today. Don’t worry if your child takes a special interest in their favorite topic. It can be the starting blocks of some friendships.